modernly dating


Dating in today’s society is not like it used to be. I won’t start by saying chivalry is totally dead, but it’s definitely what’s missing. When my parents grew up, dating multiple people at the same time was perfectly normal. Nowadays, dating more than one person is almost frowned upon because that shows that you aren’t serious about what’s in front of you or you can’t make up your mind. To me, it’s all about finding that perfect person for you, seeing what’s out there and discovering what makes you happy. If you don’t leave your options open, you could be shutting yourself off from “The One.”

         That brings me to the low down of dating today. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be! I believe the dating game has changed drastically and will continue to change as the years go on. What I have trouble wrapping my head around is how hard it is to get a second date these days. Something as silly as that, but believe me when I say, it’s challenging. I want to say dating apps are great and make it so easy for us single guys and gals to meet people, but they are quite the nightmare as well.

         Technology, for one, has radically changed the world but add in trying to find a date by swiping through an app based on how attractive you find a person through a series of photos and you mine as well just toss your phone over a cliff. Dating through apps has become such a norm in today’s society that if you’re single and not part of at least one, you’re judged because how else will you meet people? Gone are the days of striking up friendly conversations at a coffee shop or grocery store that lead to first dates that sweep you off your feet. Now, we swipe right on picture in the hopes that we match with that person, start chatting, make plans to meet, and pray you don’t get “ghosted.”

         Ghosting is described as “the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.” This is something that very well could have been around for ages, but it wasn’t until dating online that this term came into full effect. It happens everyday and it’s caused by both genders. How I see it is in these apps you’re given an endless supply of men and women to sort through. You happen to match with a few or so at a time and naturally start conversations. Once there’s a lull in a conversation or someone says something that completely turns you off, it’s then easiest to just stop responding than figure out how to tell him or her you don’t want to continue. For me, honesty is the best policy and although it hurts sometimes to be told the reasons why someone doesn’t want to continue talking to you or seeing you, it’s for the best. The worst is when it happens after getting invested in that person. Maybe you’ve gone on 3 or 4 dates with them and you think it’s going great and then poof, they’re gone and you never hear from them again. Listen, I’m not going to lie and take the high road here, I’ve ghosted before but in my defense it’s been in the early stages of a conversation when it’s not going anywhere or they say something inappropriate. But, now after it’s happened to me personally more than a handful of times, I realize how frustrating and upsetting it can be so I prefer to be totally honest now, even if it makes me look like the bad person.

         With all this said, there are easily a million ways dating in today’s society is successful too. Meeting people in any kind of situation is hard, but not impossible. Dating apps open a whole new window of meeting people on top of the good old-fashioned way. However, to make the act of meeting someone possible, you need to put it out in the universe that you are ready. I’ve learned, through many friends, to write down your intentions in a journal. It doesn’t have to be everyday, unless you want to but write down the things you want in life. For instance, write down what you’re looking for in a partner and all the little details. Physically writing it down puts it out into the universe and good things will follow.

         I have no doubt I’ll meet my person one day, but I’ve come to realize it just takes time and patience. No one is on the same schedule. Everyone’s path is different and when it’s your time for that certain happiness, you’ll know. You won’t question anything and it will just be right. Never give up and never settle for less than what you deserve. Find someone who loves you more than you love them and someone who never stops trying to make you happy. Everyone deserves to have their own happily ever after, when will yours begin?

While writing this up, I came across this article about some rules for dating and it really stuck with me. I hope you find this helpful or at least learn a thing or two you didn’t realize before!

C H E C K  I T  O U T   ——– >  Modern Dating Rules

xx, Coco